In the beginning there was the calling and in that calling was a man, the 7th man in the fight. I had come back from the cave in which my father had left me. I was left for dead. Out I came, fit and strong! A man! Ready to take action! I was now the 434th man and the last in the first rank. I had leadership, drive, character! None the likes of which they had ever seen before, I scared a few too. A bit older than the regular runts too, and so they made me their team leader for a little while. I was headstrong stayed stubborn in my old ways. But I had seen something else, been through a different kind of hell. I had something no one else did, a natural genetic African lion like strength about me, What others struggled with came about easier to me. others wished they had what i had. I had brilliance none the likes of which they had ever seen before and that too scared a few also. Only the puny ones felt the fear of my presence, them alone would be the first to try to question my leadership, and i quickly put them in their place.
I didn’t so much partake in any unproductive puerile antics. hmm you know it’s funny because I went in a weaker man, I went in running a 2 mile in a sluggish 19 minutes and now I can do it in less than 14 minutes. I got faster, stronger, and more attentive to the smaller things, more aware. I was being transformed into something better and in many ways had became a better me. I had become the person I needed to be a decade ago. But only after it was almost over I had truly seen the fault in not taking this journey sooner in life, time wasted really. This journey made me stronger in some parts but It had also made me weaker and more susceptible to what I’d like to call the “lonely tunnel disease” or “cut off” which Is the breaking of social bonds with others around oneself . I had seen the foully of having too much pride in the insignificant things around me. The sense of heritage and belonging and soon everything else would have washed away in this little world of mine, soon we would all loose our own personal sense of belonging and heritage, and pride in this little world we made while here, soon everyone would fill their hearts with hate and fear and sadness and realize the poignant nature of the truth in this reality, just like I have.
Our pride doesn’t come from what we think it comes from. We as man must make the best of our world in order to keep it the way we would like it. My pride as a man would take me onto new journeys in my life and I will never be allowed the luxury of settling down and having a predictable schedule ever again, but that’s just because I’m me and you are you. I have journeyed through this world, been to about a dozen countries, I’ve seen a lot of suffering and pain, most of which was from my own life. Some of my friends died both figuratively and some quite literally…my grandmother who took the place of my mother died… my father died… My… father’s dead!!!! MY FATHER DIED! And although my true mother is out there alive and well, Hiding in between the cracks of the forgotten spaces in this world somewhere out there, she’s just as dead to me now as my father. I didn’t know or care to but now it all sinks in, it all comes together now. This is my world, my time, and I must do with it as I please but only as I would like another to do onto my world as well. I’m still young though! I still own my future!
I was the 7th man in the first ranking when i started this journey and i’d grown close and attached to that number, so much so i’d wrote it all over my things just right before my number changed. I used to like that number, the number 7. It’s a lucky number in my view like the seven days in the week now it reminds me of everything I once was and everything I would hate to go back to. The hate, the fear, the anger that comes out of nowhere. I am my father’s son weather I like it or not , but I am also my own man! And althouhg we don’t get to choose our parents or the family we’re born into coming in this world we do get to choose our own families we bring together going forth. I’ll blaze the golden trail that my son, my future self may walk up with ease and a pride void of hate and resentment or pointless anger, without the challenges i had to overcome and he’ll be a much greater man than i’ll ever hope to be for it, but now i must create a path and i will, I’ll do it all alone. That’s how I like it anyway. i’ve always been alone and that’s how i prefer it! It’s the only way I could ever gather my thoughts in such. After the six others before me had gotten to know each other and made good pairs I would be the one left alone to my thoughts. I would always be the last one and that has always benefited me and only me in the end that’s how life should be, what’s the point of being social creatures if we build walls in order to keep ourselves safe from others and we fear to tear down those walls of our own imagination in order to keep ourselves safe. Yea. Number 7 was scared to live and so he died rightfully. It was for the best. To be honest i hate that number now, and i would prefer to be the without a number…..